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It seems impossible, but somehow you\u2019ve crossed everything off your initial to-do list, and your son or daughter is set. Maybe he is now firmly ensconced in an Early Intervention program, and you\u2019ve already booked the eight million school evaluations required to get him into a pre-school program. Perhaps your daughter is older and has just entered a classroom, spent a few weeks there and is doing well. You\u2019ve dotted your I\u2019s and crossed your T\u2019s, and for once there\u2019s no phone call to make, no appointment to schedule. You\u2019ve gotten the help your child needs.<\/p>\n
And perhaps as you\u2019re enjoying a latte (which I hope you are, you deserve it), you wonder what\u2019s next.<\/p>\n
First of all, make sure you savor the moment. Take the time to celebrate your successful navigation of your state\u2019s Early Intervention system or your school district\u2019s IEP team, and give yourself about twenty hugs and buy yourself a little something fun.<\/p>\n
Then take a deep breath, gird your loins, and move on to the next phase of your life with an autistic child.<\/p>\n
I remember being at that phase, with my eldest son who is severely autistic being enrolled at three-and-a-half in a full day pre-school program and pregnant with my second child. While part of me wanted desperately to sit in bed all day and watch \u201cSex and the City\u201d re-runs, I knew there was still a lot to do that I\u2019d put off while trying to get the appropriate services for my child and dealing with our move to a new state. Here are ten things I did (or wish I\u2019d done) after the ink dried on my son\u2019s IEP.<\/p>\n
1) No matter how exhausted you are, get your child out in the community. It was a struggle with us with Justin (I have the tiny little bitemarks on my body to prove it) but getting him out so he could have a repertoire of leisure activities was crucial to his happiness and to our family\u2019s. It set him up for a lifetime of being able to try different things, which will set him in good stead when I\u2019m no longer here to take him places. Yes, I\u2019m always planning.<\/p>\n
2) If you haven\u2019t already done so, join a parent group and\/or your school district\u2019s special education PTA. You will make invaluable connections at both. Try to find parents of kids with your kid\u2019s level of autism as you\u2019re making friends. These people will be a wealth of information for you and a lifeline.<\/p>\n
3) If you can afford it, hire an advocate to check out your child\u2019s school program. A fresh set of eyes may see areas that need to improve, or may reassure you that they are doing all they can for your son or daughter. It\u2019s always good to know one in case you need an advocate at an IEP meeting. If you\u2019ve already met you won\u2019t be scrambling to find one.<\/p>\n
4) If possible, volunteer at school functions or offer to be a class mom. This is a great way to get to know your child\u2019s teacher and your school\u2019s administrators better. You may also make friends with other parents too.<\/p>\n
5) No matter how difficult your child can be, take any offer of babysitting you can and get out. You need a night off from autism once in a while. Even if it\u2019s for a few hours, a break will help.<\/p>\n
6) Now that your child\u2019s program is set tackle the big issues one at a time- perhaps it\u2019s sleeping, or eating, or potty training. If your child is in a private school there may be a BCBA on staff who can help you. If not and you can afford it, consider hiring a BCBA from an agency. Pick an issue and prioritize.<\/p>\n
7) Educate your friends and family as to what\u2019s going on in your household. Perhaps you\u2019ve been too tired up to this point to talk to people not in the \u201ctribe\u201d about what raising an autistic child is really like. It\u2019s time to tell them and ask for the support you need, even if it\u2019s just an ear to listen. My husband and I kept too much to ourselves, and if I could go back in time I\u2019d be more open with everyone in our lives.<\/p>\n
8) Make those doctor appointments for yourself that you\u2019ve been putting off. Just do it.<\/p>\n
9) Get involved in an autism walk in your community. It is so powerful to meet so many families like (and unlike) yours. It will give you strength.<\/p>\n
10) I can\u2019t stress this one enough- take care of yourself, not just your kid. Autism is a marathon, not a sprint. You owe it to yourself and your child to be whole, healthy, and happy. Do whatever it takes to get there.<\/p>\n
For more on my family visit my blog at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com<\/em><\/p>\n Follow me on Facebook at Autism Mommy-Therapist<\/em><\/p>\n