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Your \u201ceeees\u201d resound throughout the farm, and I smile to know how excited you are to show off your horseback riding prowess, how thrilled you are that your parents and brother and grandmas are here to watch you revel in your favorite pastime. I also smile because those \u201ceeees\u201d mean the catatonia is at bay, that what\u2019s started off as a good morning may continue while you strut your stuff.<\/p>\n
Today, my smile will be vindicated.<\/p>\n
You are always so calm on a horse, have been so since you began therapeutic horseback riding at the tender age of five. You weren\u2019t so thrilled about it at the start (you let us know in no uncertain terms that horses were the devil), but something inside me said to keep at this, and I\u2019m so glad I did. You grew to love your weekly sessions, rocking back and forth with anticipation each week in the car, walking so quickly ahead of me to the barn I had to run to catch up with you.<\/p>\n
Your joy was, and is, palpable.<\/p>\n
Part of why I pushed you was because I was bound and determined to find something, some hobby or pastime that you would like other than your DVDs and driving around New Jersey on Rent-a-Car websites (while entertaining, it\u2019s not exactly aerobic). Truth be told if I could host a horse in our backyard I would (hubbie, if you\u2019re reading this, don\u2019t freak out), but for now I have to settle for a once-a-week ride. I love the fact that you can do this for decades, can even get your equestrian fix after I\u2019m gone (yes, I\u2019m always thinking ahead).<\/p>\n
Somehow, I will find a way for you to ride when you\u2019re seventy-five. I\u2019m just that much of a planner.<\/p>\n
If some of you are thinking \u201cno way, no how\u201d could you ever get your son or daughter on a tall animal, perhaps you\u2019re right. The first time we tried when Justin was in kindergarten he needed two people flanking him to keep him on the horse. He started off desperately trying to escape, and by the end of the twenty minute session he was calm and I even saw the ghost of a smile on his face. He certainly wasn\u2019t as enamored of the saddle as he is now, but it was enough for me to see the burgeoning possibilities of an actual sport for my son, something he could do that would stretch him and get him out of the house.<\/p>\n
Trust me, it wasn\u2019t always easy to get him out of our home, but that\u2019s another thing we\u2019ve perservered in, and it\u2019s opened up the world to him.<\/p>\n
When Justin was little he was so much more difficult to deal with than he is now, even though he\u2019s newly diagnosed with catatonia which brings its own challenges. His sensory issues were much more pronounced back in the day which I\u2019m sure contributed to his angst, but somehow I knew if I started early getting him to go to places and doing activities these locations would become part of his routine, and eventually he would accept them. We pushed the beach, the boardwalks, Great Adventure and even Hurricane Harbor. We eventually even got brave and when he was ten we took him on a plane to Disney, where for a first trip away from home he did remarkably well. The truth is, I kept at it when he was young also because I could still physically remove him from any situation at the time, which at fifteen, is quite beyond me now.<\/p>\n
Mommy\u2019s tough, but not tough enough to budge a teenager.<\/p>\n
Honestly, it doesn\u2019t matter what the activity or outing is, and you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your proverbial prince. I want you to know I am well aware this isn\u2019t easy. I\u2019ve had trips where I\u2019ve returned with bitemarks all over my shoulders from having to remove my child from a situation. I\u2019ve had bruises on my shins where I\u2019ve been kicked repeatedly for trying to leave a place, been drenched in sweat as I\u2019ve wondered if I was tough enough to get him in the car before someone called the police on me for abducting a child. Often our outings were baptism by fire, with me swearing to myself \u201cnever again.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll tell you a secret. There was always \u201cjust one more try.\u201d<\/p>\n
Justin has his limits as to where he\u2019ll go, and more importantly, how long he\u2019ll stay. The kid who we used to have to drag off the beach will now only make it an hour (and sometimes it\u2019s work to get him there that long), but he always has a smile on his face when we\u2019re done. I know we wouldn\u2019t be able to have these expeditions if I hadn\u2019t braved his meltdowns when he was little.<\/p>\n
Not sure about a lot of things with autism, but of this one I\u2019m certain.<\/p>\n
Finally, warm weather is coming, and we\u2019ve managed to slough off a tenacious winter during which it\u2019s easy to stay inside. My advice to anyone starting out with an autistic child is to take errands and outings as seriously as the latest ABA therapy technique your child\u2019s therapist has suggested to you. Start early; start young. Know that sometimes your efforts will be for naught, and your trip will absolutely suck. Regroup, ask for help if you can, and try again.<\/p>\n
Never give up. Never give in.<\/p>\n
Always give it one more try.<\/p>\n
For more on my family visit my blog at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com<\/em><\/p>\n Follow me on Facebook at Autism Mommy-Therapist<\/em><\/p>\n