{"id":14747,"date":"2019-05-23T10:44:50","date_gmt":"2019-05-23T14:44:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shorebeat.com\/brick\/?p=14747"},"modified":"2019-05-23T10:44:50","modified_gmt":"2019-05-23T14:44:50","slug":"sweet-sixteen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/2019\/05\/sweet-sixteen\/","title":{"rendered":"Sweet Sixteen"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

This month you turned sweet sixteen.<\/p>\n

And truly, how sweet you are.<\/p>\n

I admit, when I held you in my arms when you were a baby and envisioned your future, I never imagined this.<\/p>\n

I thought at this point you\u2019d be answering me (if you answered me at all) in grunts and monosyllables. I thought we\u2019d begin teaching you how to drive. I believed we\u2019d start those college discussions. Maybe you\u2019d share with me the amazing character traits of the girl you like.<\/p>\n

Then again, maybe not.<\/p>\n

We are not living any of my dreams.<\/p>\n

Instead, we are living yours.<\/p>\n

Your dreams include a steady diet of YouTube videos of Baby Einstein and Classical Baby. Your preferred activities center around a plethora of different DVDs from your past. The closest you will come to driving is your participation on the Hertz Rent-a-car site (you have conquered Monmouth County).<\/p>\n

Your life is pretty much as it was when you were a toddler, except for the fact that you can type in your own internet searches, a skill for which I am extremely grateful as it brings you so much joy.<\/p>\n

My goal has always been for you to feel joy.<\/p>\n

I won\u2019t lie to you and tell you I gave up those dreams for you without a fight, or that the fact you\u2019ll never realize them still makes me sad. Some people will support me on this, some will vilify me.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay, because sometimes at the end of the day my feelings about you were all I had left.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay, because after sixteen years of raising autism I am pretty inured to what people think.<\/p>\n

My solace is you won\u2019t miss the trappings of a neurotypical teenaged life. You won\u2019t pine for the freedom of a car, a particular red-headed girl, or to leave your parents behind.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m pretty sure you\u2019d live with me forever if you could. You are always happier at home, with me.<\/p>\n

That is a dream I wish I could make come true for you.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve accepted that my heart will always simultaneously ache and soar for you. I am so grateful, grateful beyond words, that we have weathered your latest crisis and for the better part of a year you have returned to you ebullient, loving self.<\/p>\n

I missed you. And as difficult as it was for me, I can\u2019t even imagine how difficult your suffering was for you.<\/p>\n

I know there will be more challenges up ahead. So for now I am reveling in our \u201csweet spot,\u201d my sweet sixteen.<\/p>\n

I hope the coming year brings you continued joy.<\/p>\n

I hope your seventeenth year sees you safe.<\/p>\n

I wish you love, laughter, and peace.<\/p>\n

I love you.<\/p>\n

Happy birthday to my beautiful boy!<\/p>\n

For more on my family visit my blog at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com<\/em><\/p>\n

Follow me on Facebook at Autism Mommy-Therapist<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This month you turned sweet sixteen. And truly, how sweet you are. I admit, when I held you in my arms when you were a baby and envisioned your future, I never imagined this. I thought at this point you\u2019d be answering me (if you answered me at all) in grunts and monosyllables. I thought […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":196,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,12],"tags":[293,295,294],"class_list":["post-14747","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-in-brick","category-ocean-county","tag-autism","tag-autism-acceptance","tag-autism-awareness"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pgt2Ft-3PR","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14747","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/196"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14747"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14747\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14747"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14747"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14747"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}