![\"Disney](\"https:\/\/www.shorebeat.com\/brick\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Disney-Halloween-2015-114-400x533.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
He grabs my sleeve for what seems the thousandth time today (and it\u2019s only 11:00 AM), says his word approximation for \u201cbuckets,\u201d and looks imploringly into my eyes. The single syllable doesn\u2019t sound much like its intended word, but I understand immediately what he wants (as I have the other 999 times,) and I gently say \u201clater\u201d which prompts him to walk away.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t worry. He\u2019ll be back in a minute-and-a-half.<\/p>\n
My oldest son Justin has an OCD diagnosis along with his main diagnosis of severe autism, but frankly when he\u2019s in the throes of organizing my husband and I don\u2019t care which disorder is prompting this behavior. As with everything else with autism, the good and the bad, this penchant for moving things, putting them at angles, hiding them (my personal favorite as my almost fifty-year-old brain can\u2019t function without its visual cues) and throwing them down stairs comes and goes in cycles. He\u2019s been doing this on and off for years, but it\u2019s been more severe during this cycle, and frankly our patience is wearing thin.<\/p>\n
His latest desire is to reorganize the hundreds of toys we\u2019ve saved since his infancy that are stored in our garage in bins, and he doesn\u2019t seem to care that on most days it\u2019s -42 degrees in there (a slight exaggeration, but that\u2019s how it feels!) In case you\u2019re wondering we do have a padlock on the door to keep him out, but that doesn\u2019t keep him from asking (and asking, and asking) to be let back into organizing mecca. Frankly, if we keep him out he\u2019ll just reorganize something else in the house (he hit my desk once, I thought my head would explode,) so there are no easy solutions.<\/p>\n
We are trying a new medication which will take a few weeks to kick in (they always do,) and we\u2019re having the tried and true BCBA from his school out to the house in a few weeks, so we\u2019re on top of this latest challenge.<\/p>\n
Two things I\u2019ve learned for sure about autism over the last thirteen years. It\u2019s here forever, and there\u2019s always something.<\/p>\n
When challenges rear their ugly heads in our home my husband and I try to find the humor in the situation if we can (Justin\u2019s approximation for buckets sounds like \u201cbutt,\u201d a source of endless amusement for my nine-year-old and my husband if I\u2019m honest.) There are times when this is impossible, like when he\u2019s been in an aggressive phase, or has simply been mostly miserable. Watching both of my kids suffer at times from their disabilities has been the hardest part of this journey, has made the logistical, financial, and physical difficulties of this disorder pale in comparison.<\/p>\n
But sometimes (yes I just said \u201cbut\u201d) a little levity can be found, and as he requests entrance to our frigid toy haven I try to keep this in mind, and remember this too. Some things with autism are permanent, but some, at least with our kids, seem to come and go. We\u2019ve had entire years where our house has not been an experiment in feng shui, and although I don\u2019t ever think this desire will completely disappear, it will most likely go into hibernation if we wait it out.<\/p>\n
At least, as I salvage my precious sticky notes, that\u2019s what I tell myself.<\/p>\n
The other way I get through these difficult cycles is to lean on my \u201cautism mommy friends,\u201d who get that when I share how difficult this cycle is what I\u2019m really saying is \u201cOh my God what if this is for the next forty years?\u201d and talk me down from the ledge. They are often the ones who remind me of similar times that have resolved themselves, who give me the hope that this period will too.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, while I\u2019m waiting for this \u201csomething\u201d to work itself out, there\u2019s always their words of wisdom (and wine and chocolate too.) So I wait, and try to find levity where I can.<\/p>\n
And quite honestly, sometimes I like his rearrangements better.<\/p>\n
For more on my family visit my blog at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com
\nFollow me on Facebook at Autism Mommy-Therapist<\/i><\/p>\n