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He came home from his first day of school with a swollen lip and an inflamed gum, and I thanked the universe that this was one of his pediatrician\u2019s \u201clate days\u201d and I\u2019d be able to get him in to see his doctor. A short visit later we had a scrip for an antibiotic in hand, with the assurance that it might take a few days to see the swelling go down, and that everything would be all right (our ped is very nurturing).<\/p>\n
Except, it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
The stars aligned, and the next day I happened to have a cleaning with the dentist I share with Justin, who after I told my story of the lip and inflamed gum around the capped tooth he broke over a year ago looked at me and said \u201cKim, I am 99% certain he\u2019ll need a root canal, and he\u2019s probably in pain.\u201d<\/p>\n
Since I was being flossed at the time I didn\u2019t have a vocal response, but I sure thought one, and trust me it was only four letters long.<\/p>\n
Justin requires being sedated for extreme dental procedures and x-rays so fortunately getting him in to see his secondary dentist wasn\u2019t difficult, and after racing through two counties several hours later my boy was evaluated, and the practitioner verified my dentist\u2019s claim.<\/p>\n
The dentist who checked him out wasn\u2019t the lovely man who\u2019d put on his cap months ago, but he seemed decent, didn\u2019t bat an eye when I told him an x-ray wasn\u2019t happening today and he\u2019d have to make the diagnosis cold. As he explained the coming procedure he sent the assistant out to get me a date and time, and I listened carefully to him (actually understood a lot of it, maybe I missed my calling) and waited for the date when I could give my boy some relief.<\/p>\n
She came back with September 23rd, two-and-a-half weeks later. Or, I could bring him back two hours later and they\u2019d do a root canal on my severely autistic child with him fully conscious, using only Novacaine.<\/p>\n
People, I kid you not.<\/p>\n
Perhaps it was the thought of my kid being in pain for most of September, or the fact that he wasn\u2019t eating anything. Perhaps it was the oh-so-indifferent look on the dentist\u2019s face that sent me over the edge, or the assistant avoiding eye contact with me. Perhaps it was because in the last two weeks we\u2019ve had Justin home for ten days, the stomach virus, the flu, and the death of our washer\/dryer within hours of each other (apparently they mate for life like swans).<\/p>\n
Or if I\u2019m being totally honest perhaps it was the thought of an entire extra week of summer with no \u201cKim time\u201d.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure what tipped me over, but I\u2019m guessing it was all of the above.<\/p>\n
And quite honestly, I just lost it.<\/p>\n
I played the autism card (and the severe autism card at that). I told them he\u2019d starve to death. I reminded him the kid can\u2019t talk and tell us he\u2019s in pain, and that I guessed even liberal doses of Tylenol wouldn\u2019t work for two weeks. Truly, I went batshit crazy as I tried to hold my thirteen-year-old who\u2019s almost as tall as me now in their damn reclining chair so he wouldn\u2019t run out and rearrange their office (although I wanted him too).<\/p>\n
And wouldn\u2019t you know, the assistant ran like hell out of the room and came back literally three minutes later with a time and date less than 48 hours away.<\/p>\n
I am not indifferent to the plight of the patient who got bumped. I\u2019m assuming it wasn\u2019t an emergency procedure (um, like my son\u2019s), but I\u2019m sure it\u2019s an inconvenience to reschedule, and if you\u2019re out there reading this, I\u2019m sorry. Chez McCafferty rescheduling is one of my worst nightmares, and truly, I regret you got the short end of the stick.<\/p>\n
Perhaps it will be some solace to you that at least my kid can eat now.<\/p>\n
The upshot is we had a different dentist do the procedure two days later who was fabulous (he gave me his personal cell number and told me to call him over the weekend(!) if I had any questions), and by Saturday afternoon my boy was his old self, and frankly pretty bored of being home.<\/p>\n
At this point I can say I shared that sentiment.<\/p>\n
I have to say usually I shy away from conflict when I can. Perhaps it\u2019s being the oldest, but I\u2019m generally a peace-maker, and still think people should at least entertain my point- of view (I know, I\u2019m insane) when I have a disagreement with someone. I realized as I drove Justin home from the dentist that day that I haven\u2019t had a good knockdown, drag-out, autism hissy in years.<\/p>\n
And ladies and gentlemen, it felt good.<\/p>\n
Over the years I\u2019ve had to let it rip on doctors, therapists, sitters, Early Intervention providers, and just generally ignorant people at large in four different states (and a commonwealth!), but we now have a posse of good people and live in a town where for the most part people get it, so my skills have lain dormant for a while.<\/p>\n
But I have to tell you, it was great to know they\u2019re still there.<\/p>\n
He will need further procedures on this tooth in the decades to come, and when they mentioned his fifties and I remembered his father and I might not be there for that one of course the old dread of his life post ours reared its ugly head. I mentally turned it around and hoped that a tooth issue would be one of the worst health problems he\u2019ll face, which I know is wishful thinking on my part but I had to drive, so I banished it all to the back of my brain.<\/p>\n
But for now, my son is his smiling, loving, incandescent self. There are so many things I can\u2019t make happen for him, but I could fix this.<\/p>\n
And his old mom\u2019s still got some spunk in her yet.<\/p>\n
For more on my family visit my blog at autismmommytherapist.wordpress.com<\/em><\/p>\n Follow me on Facebook at Autism Mommy-Therapist<\/em><\/p>\n